Finding Grace !!

"It's been a while i wrote to you ....." I read an email from one of my close friends. And what followed unraveled a superb collaboration of thoughts from two individuals, who have, perhaps walked the same walk of life, at some point in life.

"It's been a while I wrote to you, thought will draft an email just like that :-), for no good reason, I suppose. I was watching famous tv series, and I heard a dialogue from an old man to a young lad -"Find your girl, and then find grace"

I think it speaks volumes about old people and their wise thoughts. I was left thinking about this line for a bit and I am still thinking about it as I write this. It can be perceived and digested in many different ways. How I'd like to understand it is that I think everyone in this world needs a companion.Aditi, remember our countless discussions about what to look in a partner, whether you need to get married because society wants it etc etc etc blah blah. I think this line says it all. Find your companion and then find grace. Me thinks that there is a lot of wisdom in finding a companion in life. It's not a society thing specially for we Indians, but more of a wise line given to us by our elders. They know we can't stay alone. How much ever I felt in my teens that i would never marry, how much ever tease that people got out of me from saying "Note that you will be the first one to marry in our group" and now being the last one to marry in any group or circle of friends I have had, I think I do need someone. I feel a companion will make me complete. My girl (whom I don't dream of or don't have any picture in my head) will help me complete myself. Needless to say I will complete her too :-), it's a handshake and not a monologue mind you dear :-).

I wish and hope the same for you, and I hope that you would find your companion soon. Till then lets raise a toast to the good life we all have had, to the good times we have bathed in. What we call the single life may need to perish some day, but till then; Rock On!!

~ My pursuit for finding grace, begins with finding her."

I woke up to this email and kept wondering what does this quote mean to me. Needless to tell you, the topic is close to my heart. Since I read the line - it has been at the back or front of my mind all the time. It comes from movies I guess, all my friends say, you find your love and you are all set. But, why does this old man in the series not say - 'Find your girl, you will find grace'? Instead he says - 'Find your girl, and then FIND grace'. An attempt to answer this question gives a priceless advice - finding the one is not enough, you must learn to find the grace in your girl/ guy.If you look at majority of the incomplete love stories - you'll see that either of the two or both stopped seeing the the elegance in it. In simple, plain, practical life every relationship encounters problems - how you work around those, how you keep the beauty of the relationship going is in fact finding grace. Often people end up in a relationship during infatuation, it takes a focused effort to convert the infatuation in love and lifelong companionship. Our previous generations did it quite successfully. But is our generation loosing that focus? Is this a reason of high number of failed relationships and divorces in our generation?Life goes on and on and at every damn point you feel a need of a companion - someone you look forward to go home to, someone to fight with, someone you know will always come back to you after every fight, someone with whom you enjoy the smallest things in life, someone with whom the usual sunrise is more golden than ever and drops of rain are falling pearls etc. etc.With me, all I hope for, is a chance to find my grace !! I do not have a set picture either - I am all up for surprises and I am determined to not loose my focus, once I get it :). Like they say, 'umeed pe duniya kayam hai'.. May our search end soon.. Amen.. :DThis collaboration as unique it may seem might look stupid to some of the folks out there. Don't worry you will find your grace!! When you do, come back and read this. It might not read as stupid after all :-)

Has your bubble burst yet?

In certain situations of life, we all tend to create bubbles around ourselves.. bubbles that are an attempt of insulation from the reality. This bubble is very cozy, comfortable, soothing and peaceful. But the problem is every such bubble breaks some day and when it does, all you can count is how much time were you lost from reality... how much have you deviated from your path to liberation and how hard you need to work to get back on the track ?

There are different types of bubbles: the let-me-party bubble, the friends-are-life bubble, the workaholic's bubble, the f***-the-world bubble and the philosopher's bubble.

1) The let-me-party bubble - this is the most common and probably the most destructive of them all. In your 20s, you find this all around you. The people in this bubble are often seen partying, drinking, clubbing, smoking, etc. Now you would say whats wrong with this.. well a peculiar quality is that a person in the let-me-party bubble will be seen in every party of the town. For them the time, the day, the company and the occasion do not matter. All they want to do is get drunk and dance to the loud music.. probably to shut the voice of reality.. sigh !! A person in this bubble should be lucky to come out without health and psychological issues.

2) The f***-the-world bubble - this is arguably the second most common bubble and it pretty much goes hand-in-hand with the first one. If you have seen someone swearing at the world for every wrong thing happening in their lives, you have seen type 2 (and I am sure everyone has). There's a simple concept of spirituality that these guys must learn - the sooner you come to peace with the reality, the faster you'll learn to live and love the world you were placed in.

3) The workaholic's bubble- this is another quite common bubble. You see workaholics all around you. Not every workaholic is workaholic from birth... they become so if they feel that there's nothing else in the world that's more important than work. These guys often loose on valuable time in life, get health issues and become socially inept.

4) The friends-are-life bubble - I know I am going to be criticized a lot for saying that friends-are-life is a bubble and it will burst, but in my opinion and experience it is a fact !! If you are too dependent on your friends to live your life, you are a potential resident of this bubble. Friends come and go - some leave a deep influence, some are fondly remembered and some leave back a scar. What one needs to remember is there is a life beyond friends !!

5) The philosopher's bubble - When need comes, some people choose a more "intellectual" way to run from reality. They create their own ideology. This does not hold the risk of bubble formation if the ideologies have been tried and tested by many people caught in similar situation. This bubble is also shortest, if the person has broader outlook towards life and accepts different perspectives openly.

Everyone goes through the bubble phase/s and anyone who says they have not is either lying or has not had the bubble burst yet !! Once out of the bubble, the life should be/ would be a balance of parties, friends, work, philosophy and more compassionate outlook towards the world.

When I told about my bubble to a dear friend he said, 'but aren't you supposed to be super matured by 20s to fall into any bubble?' Well I feel there's no age limit to falling in or out of a bubble. Its the most important lesson of life - some get it earlier, some get it later... what's important is to learn the lesson right !!

25 random facts about me.. :D

My friend, tagged me into this!! I thought that would be fun and so here it is!!

Random facts about me:

1) I am a total perfectionist in some tasks and equally not in others.

2) I like it when I wake up in the morning and its raining outside.

3) I cannot sleep many times because I have so many thoughts, ideas and plans in my mind, that I feel I will waste time if I sleep.

4) I am famous for going out of contact with people but if you really mean something to me, I will definitely come back some day!!

5) I really really don't care about what people talk behind my back, because thats something I was not meant to know... :)

6) I am a Libran to the core... I love art, intelligence, creativity.. I often plan ahead, always give importance to detailing..... and most of all... I always try to seek balance based on fair consideration of all options... believe it or not.. :P

7) I genuinely like listening to someone who wants to talk... not because I want to gossip about it but because I will be happy if I can use my experiences to help enlighten a situation.

8) I have a very bad face memory... so if I do not see you for a while and happen to ignore you when I see you next.. it just means I have forgotten your face!!!! Please don't misunderstand!! If you still come and talk to me, I will remember you right away.. because I have a sharp memory otherwise... :P

9) I am always ready to do something outright crazy.. :D

10) Whenever I am uncomfortable in a group, I either start talking a lot or I just pick up my phone and start talking to no one... ;)... see that's why I always keep my phone silent!!!!

11) I like trouble shooting... that's the best way to let out the creativity.

12) I used to not like stuffed toys when I was in India.... but I suddenly became crazy about stuffed animals after coming to US... something that I cannot find logic for!!!

13) I like to be resourceful.

14) I love travelling... but not alone.. with my favourite people.. :D

15) Driving is something I almost never say no to....... and my dad's Wagon R back home is my darling.... :P... I wish I could bring it to US.

16) Whenever I go shopping, I usually head to the clearance section first... ;)

17) My favourite time pass is playing 'Bricks' on my phone.

18) I sometimes like to be alone.... I am not sad, not angry, not depressed... I am just looking for my space.

19) I am more comfortable writing an email or chatting than talking on phone with strangers.

20) During winter and spring of US, my eyes water soooo much that I often feel dehydrated.. and everyone else thinks I am always crying... :o

21) I like talking to people on phone while I am alone in a journey.... I actually prefer that over listening music... because this is when I catch up with most of my friends and family.

22) I usually have messy desk, but that mess has a logic and believe me its faster for me to find things in that mess than on an organized desk.

23) I am a complete foodie... while I like trying everything else.... I do not like unauthentic Marathi dishes.... :)

24) I like the smells of paint, petrol, varnish and a new book... :D

25) And as you can clearly see here...... I am a narcissist!!!! :D :D :D

I tag following people to do the same:

Swarup, Shilpa, Chaitu, Sayali P, Gaurav, Archana, Sudhu

Dated : 10th February 2008

परतून यावे सोळावे वर्ष
परतून यावे ते दिवस
मानसिकता राहावी अशी
की झकोळून जावी ही आवस.

स्वप्न पडावीत तशीच निरागस
आकाश वाटावे तितकेच ताजे
सगळी कटुता विसरून जाऊन
जग पुन्हा व्हावे माझे.

पण यावेळी ती चूक
मी पुन्हा करणार नाही
आयुष्याला परत एकदा
गृहीत धरणार नाही.

तीच माणसे, त्याच घटना,
द्रूष्टिकोनही तोच हवा,
माझ्याकडून मात्र आपुलकिचा
थोडा अधिक वर्षाव व्हावा.

समजून घेईन यावेळी सगळ्यांना,
समजून घेईन सगळेच अर्थ
एकही व्यक्ती, एकही संधी,
मी जाऊन देणार नाही व्यर्थ.

- Adu (2/10/2008)

Shuddha lekhanachya chuka maaf asavyat, tya marathi typing mule ahet!!

Coming-out-of-the-cocoon Effect!!!

Wow.. irregularity in my blog writing has reached its peak in this last year. Well, I would like to believe I was too busy.. :P and really I was!! I have started writing, but I don't really know, what I want to write about today. After reading my older posts, I feel like a butterfly now... stop giggling.. I am talking about coming-out-of-the-cocoon effect!!

I don't want to brag, but one can't stop being much more confident after having done so many things in a few months time. So thats my secret, I have come out of the cocoon that was created by my stupid self. Seriously all inhibitions, all limits, all incapabilities are usually self-created. And one day or the other life makes you come out of it.. it should, because then, sky is the limit and you find ways to do anything you want to. I remember those days back in India, when I wanted to but never gathered courage to join college dance group... because I told myself that 'you have no dance training, so you won't be able to dance like others'. Thats a cocoon of my own thoughts. It was an accident, I am thankful of.. that Sudhu saw me dancing once and we instantly hit it off as dancing buddies. Now that I have come out the bubble it feels great to be a part of a choreography or even just the thought process of creating a dance performance.

Circumstances are most of the times going to be against your will, but fighting them back and achieving something is fun. Its like pushing the limits everytime you do something. Its like juggling... first you start with 2 rings, once you master it pick up the third one, then fourth and keep picking up till you think you have tested yourself enough.

So thought of the day: Opportunities will come knocking if you create a door first!!

Hmm another dose of gyan.. but I am happy to have finally written something on blog. Thanks Swarup for nagging constantly, due to which I wrote this stuff down. Good or not.. who cares.. this is where my mind wanted to take me at the moment!!!

Trips!!

Its been relatively long time since I wrote anything on my blog.. rather since I wrote anything at all. Well no particular reason, I fondly call it my 'writer's block'.. :D. But I miss writing a lot.

Since I cannot think of anything better to write about, I am going to write about places I have seen in the US of A.

Seriously, I am really too lucky to have gotten a chance to see around so much over here. Like my American friends tell me, most of them probably have not been around so much. Thats nice to know.

Thanks to my family, I am blessed with friends and relatives. My most recent visit was to Philadelphia. Already having seen most of the places in and around Philadelphia 2 years back, the only things I did in this visit were - eat, sleep, watch movies and most importantly and interestingly have loads and loads of discussions on many topics. Anyone who knows me knows that I love being in interesting conversations, I love talking and listening others talk. 7 hours back and forth of driving in the capital beltway traffic all alone in a mazda 6, was absolutely worth it!!

Totally contrast, was the trip to Great Smoky Mountains. Such an eventful 2 days. White water rafting was awesome experience. Its great to be almost at the level of water while you hit those rocks and get into those currents!! Too good.. And then hiking, with the fond memories of past like Sinhagad during rainy season or Phansad. We also got an experience of the term 'raining helter skelter' in these woods, it was raining so much that towards the end of it I was nauseous of water!!! But this was a great trip and I am extremely thankful to my friends who kinda forced me to go with them.

A month before this one was a 'road trip'. The road was - Richmond (I 64 W) to Pittsburgh (I 81 N) via West Virginia to Baltimore (I76/ I70) to Ocean City (US 50) to (US 13 to 'The' Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel) Richmond (I 64 W) to Washington DC (I 95 N) to Richmond (I 95 S). A little less than 1500 miles on road in 2 and half days. I would say this was my most impulsive, least planned and best executed till date. When we started out we did not have a specific plan in mind. We just knew we wanted to drive a lot, see different places and have funn and thats what we did alright!! But undoubted best part of the road was The Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, 20 miles on ocean. Great places, great routes and great company... why would the trip not be fun!!

In between these, came small trips like shopping trip to Williamsburg, Smith Mountain Lake state park, NASA in Hampton VA, VA Beach on the 4th of July to watch fireworks. All this in just last 2 months.

Other than this, one of my best trips ever was last summer to Colorado. It is a beautiful state and Colorado Springs is awesome. I re-iterate, I am blessed with amazing friends. And then biggest and the coolest (or coldest) was December 2007 when aai and baba were here. Stillwater OK, Phili, Atlantic City, NY and my cousin's house (read palace) in Connecticut, Stalagmites and stalactites in VA... very cool trip. The valentine day trip... :P to York River State Park with my roomates and I am sure there are quite a few others that I am missing here.

Wow, I really do travel a lot!! But lot more to go... :P!!

Lessons learnt!!

I am re-re-iterating that I have learnt many things since I came to Richmond and became independent!! In this blog, I am just trying to list the top 10 lessons I learnt (Random order)
Lesson # 1 - It is very important to understand the value of every person in your life; its harmful to under-value or over-value anyone!!
Lesson # 2 - Always follow the gut feeling, sometimes rationales come later!!
Lesson # 3 - Using intelligence and creativity in constructive manner earns more, than using it to laugh at others!!
Lesson # 4 - Self obsession is the name of the game!!
Lesson # 5 - You have to have faith in yourself, before others start having it.. :)!!
Lesson # 6 - People play games all the time - you can be a player but the one, who has control over retiring from the game!!
Lesson # 7 - Everything and everyone is bound to change, you are not an exception!!
Lesson # 8 - Its ok to rely on few people at few occasions, never depend on anyone!!
Lesson # 9 - Sincerity does pay back!!
Lesson # 10 (most important) - If your values are strong, the storms in life won't cause fatal destruction!!