Wherever My Mind takes Us...

Finding Grace !!

2011-08-31T14:52:00.003-04:00

"It's been a while i wrote to you ....." I read an email from one of my close friends. And what followed unraveled a superb collaboration of thoughts from two individuals, who have, perhaps walked the same walk of life, at some point in life.

"It's been a while I wrote to you, thought will draft an email just like that :-), for no good reason, I suppose. I was watching famous tv series, and I heard a dialogue from an old man to a young lad -"Find your girl, and then find grace"

I think it speaks volumes about old people and their wise thoughts. I was left thinking about this line for a bit and I am still thinking about it as I write this. It can be perceived and digested in many different ways. How I'd like to understand it is that I think everyone in this world needs a companion.Aditi, remember our countless discussions about what to look in a partner, whether you need to get married because society wants it etc etc etc blah blah. I think this line says it all. Find your companion and then find grace. Me thinks that there is a lot of wisdom in finding a companion in life. It's not a society thing specially for we Indians, but more of a wise line given to us by our elders. They know we can't stay alone. How much ever I felt in my teens that i would never marry, how much ever tease that people got out of me from saying "Note that you will be the first one to marry in our group" and now being the last one to marry in any group or circle of friends I have had, I think I do need someone. I feel a companion will make me complete. My girl (whom I don't dream of or don't have any picture in my head) will help me complete myself. Needless to say I will complete her too :-), it's a handshake and not a monologue mind you dear :-).

I wish and hope the same for you, and I hope that you would find your companion soon. Till then lets raise a toast to the good life we all have had, to the good times we have bathed in. What we call the single life may need to perish some day, but till then; Rock On!!

~ My pursuit for finding grace, begins with finding her."

I woke up to this email and kept wondering what does this quote mean to me. Needless to tell you, the topic is close to my heart. Since I read the line - it has been at the back or front of my mind all the time. It comes from movies I guess, all my friends say, you find your love and you are all set. But, why does this old man in the series not say - 'Find your girl, you will find grace'? Instead he says - 'Find your girl, and then FIND grace'. An attempt to answer this question gives a priceless advice - finding the one is not enough, you must learn to find the grace in your girl/ guy.If you look at majority of the incomplete love stories - you'll see that either of the two or both stopped seeing the the elegance in it. In simple, plain, practical life every relationship encounters problems - how you work around those, how you keep the beauty of the relationship going is in fact finding grace. Often people end up in a relationship during infatuation, it takes a focused effort to convert the infatuation in love and lifelong companionship. Our previous generations did it quite successfully. But is our generation loosing that focus? Is this a reason of high number of failed relationships and divorces in our generation?Life goes on and on and at every damn point you feel a need of a companion - someone you look forward to go home to, someone to fight with, someone you know will always come back to you after every fight, someone with whom you enjoy the smallest things in life, someone with whom the usual sunrise is more golden than ever and drops of rain are falling pearls etc. etc.With me, all I hope for, is a chance to find my grace !! I do not have a set picture either - I am all up for surprises and I am determined to not loose my focus, once I get it :). Like they say, 'umeed pe duniya kayam hai'.. May our search end soon.. Amen.. :DThis collaboration as unique it may seem might look stupid to some of the folks out there. Don't worry you will find your grace!! When you do, come back and read this. It might not read as stupid after all :-)

Has your bubble burst yet?

2011-06-15T16:40:00.000-04:00

In certain situations of life, we all tend to create bubbles around ourselves.. bubbles that are an attempt of insulation from the reality. This bubble is very cozy, comfortable, soothing and peaceful. But the problem is every such bubble breaks some day and when it does, all you can count is how much time were you lost from reality... how much have you deviated from your path to liberation and how hard you need to work to get back on the track ?

There are different types of bubbles: the let-me-party bubble, the friends-are-life bubble, the workaholic's bubble, the f***-the-world bubble and the philosopher's bubble.

1) The let-me-party bubble - this is the most common and probably the most destructive of them all. In your 20s, you find this all around you. The people in this bubble are often seen partying, drinking, clubbing, smoking, etc. Now you would say whats wrong with this.. well a peculiar quality is that a person in the let-me-party bubble will be seen in every party of the town. For them the time, the day, the company and the occasion do not matter. All they want to do is get drunk and dance to the loud music.. probably to shut the voice of reality.. sigh !! A person in this bubble should be lucky to come out without health and psychological issues.

2) The f***-the-world bubble - this is arguably the second most common bubble and it pretty much goes hand-in-hand with the first one. If you have seen someone swearing at the world for every wrong thing happening in their lives, you have seen type 2 (and I am sure everyone has). There's a simple concept of spirituality that these guys must learn - the sooner you come to peace with the reality, the faster you'll learn to live and love the world you were placed in.

3) The workaholic's bubble- this is another quite common bubble. You see workaholics all around you. Not every workaholic is workaholic from birth... they become so if they feel that there's nothing else in the world that's more important than work. These guys often loose on valuable time in life, get health issues and become socially inept.

4) The friends-are-life bubble - I know I am going to be criticized a lot for saying that friends-are-life is a bubble and it will burst, but in my opinion and experience it is a fact !! If you are too dependent on your friends to live your life, you are a potential resident of this bubble. Friends come and go - some leave a deep influence, some are fondly remembered and some leave back a scar. What one needs to remember is there is a life beyond friends !!

5) The philosopher's bubble - When need comes, some people choose a more "intellectual" way to run from reality. They create their own ideology. This does not hold the risk of bubble formation if the ideologies have been tried and tested by many people caught in similar situation. This bubble is also shortest, if the person has broader outlook towards life and accepts different perspectives openly.

Everyone goes through the bubble phase/s and anyone who says they have not is either lying or has not had the bubble burst yet !! Once out of the bubble, the life should be/ would be a balance of parties, friends, work, philosophy and more compassionate outlook towards the world.

When I told about my bubble to a dear friend he said, 'but aren't you supposed to be super matured by 20s to fall into any bubble?' Well I feel there's no age limit to falling in or out of a bubble. Its the most important lesson of life - some get it earlier, some get it later... what's important is to learn the lesson right !!

It all began 2 years back...

2010-10-07T01:26:00.001-04:00

Substantial part of my life revolves around dance and I am sure you know that by now.. :). Its been two years since me and Sudhu started choreography and we have not looked back since then. Thanks to Tiranga for giving us a stage to perform.

Every performance along our way was a cherished memory. We started off in Summer of 2008, we choreographed 2 dances but they never came on stage.

The 3rd of our choreography and first one on stage was the most applauded so far - Ganesh Vandana. It was the Tiranga fall event of 2008. The theme was fusion. Well one thing to mention about our performances is, we decide the song that we want to perform on much before we know the theme of the event and then find a way to fit it into the theme. It has worked fine almost everytime !!

So Shankar Mahadevan's Ganeshay Dheemahi was what we had decided this time. The song is so soothing, it was a bliss dancing on it. To add one we had a graceful team of dancers. We tried to make it a fusion of contemporary and Indian classical.

In the Spring event, we performed on Saiyyan by Kailash Kher. This is my personal favorite and the most abstract of the lot. We were inspired to dance on this one after watching a performance by 2 kathak maestro's - Phulwa Khamkar and Kirti Gaekwad, who had done a kathak rendition of this song. Since neither of me or Sudhu has learnt kathak we decided to make it our way.

After these two performances, it was time for us to spread outside of Tiranga and VCU. Luckily we were invited to perform at the Indian Independence Day event in August 2009 by Indian Association of Virginia. Since it was summer, we had good amount of time to think and choreograph the performance. We thought through a few concepts and finalized the one - depicting 'The Spirit of Tiranga' - Indian tri-colour flag. This in my opinion was the most creative. It had a bigger team of dancers and thus more opportunity for the theme to bloom.

Further widening our wings, we decided to participate in the Hindu Centre of Virginia's Festival of India '09 in a dance/ drama competition. The theme for the competition was Festivals - so basically we had to depict a festival. We chose something thats very close to my and every Marathi person's heart - Ganpati Festival of Maharashtra. We had readymade Ganesh Vandan that we had performed before and then we had to put together the rest of it. It was awesome fun doing this one. We won the first prize in competing with 6 other groups.

Due to time constraints we did not get a chance to put up any new performance for the Tiranga Fall '09 event. So we just ended up repeating the dances that we had performed else where.

In the Spring of 2010, it was time for us to come back in action. We had finalised the song way before we even knew when the event was. It was a marathi song again - lavani from the movie 'Natarang'. This time we had an altogether new team and in this new team the choreography was led mostly by Anuja - an excellent dancer. I fondly call her my guru.. :P

The summer of 2010 was pretty laid back, with no new performances. And then came the Festival of India dance competition again. We wanted to participate in the dance/ drama competition again - the theme was 'Represent a State' and we had a plan ready for representing Uttar Pradesh. However we could not assemble enough performers and had to drop the idea. We were so sad about the fact that we decided to chuck the idea of performing at the Festival. However a thankul persuasion by the organizers, made us change our mind. This was 9 days before the competition and we decided to perform in another category - Folk Dance Category. We chose Kailsh Kher's version of an old Haryanvi Folk - Bum Lehri. We had exactly 8 days to practice when we made the final plan. The choreography was completed in record time - 1 day and then the performance happened. We won the 1st prize again. This was one of our most co-ordinated team.

And now we are preparing for the upcoming Tiranga Fall event...

Well I know we might not be extra-ordinary or anything. But theres one thing that both me and Sudhu have and that is passion to create a good performance. Both of us love to go through the process of conceptualization, execution of the concept and choreography. We forget ourselves when we are on stage. What else can one offer to Lord Nataraja?

25 random facts about me.. :D

2010-04-27T16:48:00.000-04:00

My friend, tagged me into this!! I thought that would be fun and so here it is!!

Random facts about me:

1) I am a total perfectionist in some tasks and equally not in others.

2) I like it when I wake up in the morning and its raining outside.

3) I cannot sleep many times because I have so many thoughts, ideas and plans in my mind, that I feel I will waste time if I sleep.

4) I am famous for going out of contact with people but if you really mean something to me, I will definitely come back some day!!

5) I really really don't care about what people talk behind my back, because thats something I was not meant to know... :)

6) I am a Libran to the core... I love art, intelligence, creativity.. I often plan ahead, always give importance to detailing..... and most of all... I always try to seek balance based on fair consideration of all options... believe it or not.. :P

7) I genuinely like listening to someone who wants to talk... not because I want to gossip about it but because I will be happy if I can use my experiences to help enlighten a situation.

8) I have a very bad face memory... so if I do not see you for a while and happen to ignore you when I see you next.. it just means I have forgotten your face!!!! Please don't misunderstand!! If you still come and talk to me, I will remember you right away.. because I have a sharp memory otherwise... :P

9) I am always ready to do something outright crazy.. :D

10) Whenever I am uncomfortable in a group, I either start talking a lot or I just pick up my phone and start talking to no one... ;)... see that's why I always keep my phone silent!!!!

11) I like trouble shooting... that's the best way to let out the creativity.

12) I used to not like stuffed toys when I was in India.... but I suddenly became crazy about stuffed animals after coming to US... something that I cannot find logic for!!!

13) I like to be resourceful.

14) I love travelling... but not alone.. with my favourite people.. :D

15) Driving is something I almost never say no to....... and my dad's Wagon R back home is my darling.... :P... I wish I could bring it to US.

16) Whenever I go shopping, I usually head to the clearance section first... ;)

17) My favourite time pass is playing 'Bricks' on my phone.

18) I sometimes like to be alone.... I am not sad, not angry, not depressed... I am just looking for my space.

19) I am more comfortable writing an email or chatting than talking on phone with strangers.

20) During winter and spring of US, my eyes water soooo much that I often feel dehydrated.. and everyone else thinks I am always crying... :o

21) I like talking to people on phone while I am alone in a journey.... I actually prefer that over listening music... because this is when I catch up with most of my friends and family.

22) I usually have messy desk, but that mess has a logic and believe me its faster for me to find things in that mess than on an organized desk.

23) I am a complete foodie... while I like trying everything else.... I do not like unauthentic Marathi dishes.... :)

24) I like the smells of paint, petrol, varnish and a new book... :D

25) And as you can clearly see here...... I am a narcissist!!!! :D :D :D

I tag following people to do the same:

Swarup, Shilpa, Chaitu, Sayali P, Gaurav, Archana, Sudhu

Dated : 10th February 2008

2010-02-03T15:33:00.000-05:00

परतून यावे सोळावे वर्ष
परतून यावे ते दिवस
मानसिकता राहावी अशी
की झकोळून जावी ही आवस.

स्वप्न पडावीत तशीच निरागस
आकाश वाटावे तितकेच ताजे
सगळी कटुता विसरून जाऊन
जग पुन्हा व्हावे माझे.

पण यावेळी ती चूक
मी पुन्हा करणार नाही
आयुष्याला परत एकदा
गृहीत धरणार नाही.

तीच माणसे, त्याच घटना,
द्रूष्टिकोनही तोच हवा,
माझ्याकडून मात्र आपुलकिचा
थोडा अधिक वर्षाव व्हावा.

समजून घेईन यावेळी सगळ्यांना,
समजून घेईन सगळेच अर्थ
एकही व्यक्ती, एकही संधी,
मी जाऊन देणार नाही व्यर्थ.

- Adu (2/10/2008)

Shuddha lekhanachya chuka maaf asavyat, tya marathi typing mule ahet!!

Coming-out-of-the-cocoon Effect!!!

2010-02-02T13:22:00.000-05:00

Wow.. irregularity in my blog writing has reached its peak in this last year. Well, I would like to believe I was too busy.. :P and really I was!! I have started writing, but I don't really know, what I want to write about today. After reading my older posts, I feel like a butterfly now... stop giggling.. I am talking about coming-out-of-the-cocoon effect!!

I don't want to brag, but one can't stop being much more confident after having done so many things in a few months time. So thats my secret, I have come out of the cocoon that was created by my stupid self. Seriously all inhibitions, all limits, all incapabilities are usually self-created. And one day or the other life makes you come out of it.. it should, because then, sky is the limit and you find ways to do anything you want to. I remember those days back in India, when I wanted to but never gathered courage to join college dance group... because I told myself that 'you have no dance training, so you won't be able to dance like others'. Thats a cocoon of my own thoughts. It was an accident, I am thankful of.. that Sudhu saw me dancing once and we instantly hit it off as dancing buddies. Now that I have come out the bubble it feels great to be a part of a choreography or even just the thought process of creating a dance performance.

Circumstances are most of the times going to be against your will, but fighting them back and achieving something is fun. Its like pushing the limits everytime you do something. Its like juggling... first you start with 2 rings, once you master it pick up the third one, then fourth and keep picking up till you think you have tested yourself enough.

So thought of the day: Opportunities will come knocking if you create a door first!!

Hmm another dose of gyan.. but I am happy to have finally written something on blog. Thanks Swarup for nagging constantly, due to which I wrote this stuff down. Good or not.. who cares.. this is where my mind wanted to take me at the moment!!!

Trips!!

2009-07-08T14:14:00.000-04:00

Its been relatively long time since I wrote anything on my blog.. rather since I wrote anything at all. Well no particular reason, I fondly call it my 'writer's block'.. :D. But I miss writing a lot.

Since I cannot think of anything better to write about, I am going to write about places I have seen in the US of A.

Seriously, I am really too lucky to have gotten a chance to see around so much over here. Like my American friends tell me, most of them probably have not been around so much. Thats nice to know.

Thanks to my family, I am blessed with friends and relatives. My most recent visit was to Philadelphia. Already having seen most of the places in and around Philadelphia 2 years back, the only things I did in this visit were - eat, sleep, watch movies and most importantly and interestingly have loads and loads of discussions on many topics. Anyone who knows me knows that I love being in interesting conversations, I love talking and listening others talk. 7 hours back and forth of driving in the capital beltway traffic all alone in a mazda 6, was absolutely worth it!!

Totally contrast, was the trip to Great Smoky Mountains. Such an eventful 2 days. White water rafting was awesome experience. Its great to be almost at the level of water while you hit those rocks and get into those currents!! Too good.. And then hiking, with the fond memories of past like Sinhagad during rainy season or Phansad. We also got an experience of the term 'raining helter skelter' in these woods, it was raining so much that towards the end of it I was nauseous of water!!! But this was a great trip and I am extremely thankful to my friends who kinda forced me to go with them.

A month before this one was a 'road trip'. The road was - Richmond (I 64 W) to Pittsburgh (I 81 N) via West Virginia to Baltimore (I76/ I70) to Ocean City (US 50) to (US 13 to 'The' Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel) Richmond (I 64 W) to Washington DC (I 95 N) to Richmond (I 95 S). A little less than 1500 miles on road in 2 and half days. I would say this was my most impulsive, least planned and best executed till date. When we started out we did not have a specific plan in mind. We just knew we wanted to drive a lot, see different places and have funn and thats what we did alright!! But undoubted best part of the road was The Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel, 20 miles on ocean. Great places, great routes and great company... why would the trip not be fun!!

In between these, came small trips like shopping trip to Williamsburg, Smith Mountain Lake state park, NASA in Hampton VA, VA Beach on the 4th of July to watch fireworks. All this in just last 2 months.

Other than this, one of my best trips ever was last summer to Colorado. It is a beautiful state and Colorado Springs is awesome. I re-iterate, I am blessed with amazing friends. And then biggest and the coolest (or coldest) was December 2007 when aai and baba were here. Stillwater OK, Phili, Atlantic City, NY and my cousin's house (read palace) in Connecticut, Stalagmites and stalactites in VA... very cool trip. The valentine day trip... :P to York River State Park with my roomates and I am sure there are quite a few others that I am missing here.

Wow, I really do travel a lot!! But lot more to go... :P!!

Lessons learnt!!

2009-04-12T23:39:00.000-04:00

I am re-re-iterating that I have learnt many things since I came to Richmond and became independent!! In this blog, I am just trying to list the top 10 lessons I learnt (Random order)
Lesson # 1 - It is very important to understand the value of every person in your life; its harmful to under-value or over-value anyone!!
Lesson # 2 - Always follow the gut feeling, sometimes rationales come later!!
Lesson # 3 - Using intelligence and creativity in constructive manner earns more, than using it to laugh at others!!
Lesson # 4 - Self obsession is the name of the game!!
Lesson # 5 - You have to have faith in yourself, before others start having it.. :)!!
Lesson # 6 - People play games all the time - you can be a player but the one, who has control over retiring from the game!!
Lesson # 7 - Everything and everyone is bound to change, you are not an exception!!
Lesson # 8 - Its ok to rely on few people at few occasions, never depend on anyone!!
Lesson # 9 - Sincerity does pay back!!
Lesson # 10 (most important) - If your values are strong, the storms in life won't cause fatal destruction!!

Me, myself and I...

2009-01-25T20:33:00.000-05:00

After "falling in love" with many people...;).. I have concluded that I, am the person who deserves my love the most.... :P.

Very recently I have accepted my real self and since then I feel so happy. Thanks to this hell called Richmond (city that I would probably hate the most all my life!!!). It gave me an opportunity to find myself and it gave me the extreme lonliness for a long time, so that I could know myself better. Ab hum akele nahi hum do hain... main aur meri tanhayee.... hehehehe such a cliche. Jokes apart, all my life I had wanted to be alone and independent. But when I got what I wanted... I took 1.5 years to understand it and accept it. But today I am proud of the fact that I am living my life mostly on my terms... I am taking my decisions, with my own perspectives and rationales and taking responsibility of its outcomes. Slowly but steadily I am getting better at reacting to situations. I am independent and am loving it!!

This journey was outstanding though... very real, cruel, sad, maddening, depressing, through a tunnel without even a ray of light at times but interestingly I just saw light at the end of the tunnel...

I think, I got through this safely, without making any big mistake because my principles are strong and obviously I owe those to my family.

The result of this journey is that I know I am a good human being. There are many facets to my personality that I should be and am proud of. And I am diligent enough to know my flaws and try and work on them.

In this journey, I am sorry for going away from many people, but for me getting closer to myself was more important.

One rainy day..

2008-12-13T10:34:00.000-05:00

Manaat jhaalele nirasheche ghar
Ani jhadjhadun aleli pavsaachi sar

Jalheen jharyala
kshanat vahta kela,
evdhach kay, sarini
melelya manalahi jagta kela

man jaaga jhaala
swatahlach vicharla
arechya aaj apan
ithe kuthe yena kela?

paNich paNi paN poor nahi,
sosatyacha vaara paN vaadal nahi,
jaNu kahi haa swapnatla gaav
nirjan betavarun disleli aashechi naav.

ashi jhadjhadun aleli ashechi sar
kshanbharat nirasha jhaali beghar.

- Adi (25/6/05)

The Search...

2008-12-10T23:50:00.000-05:00

Human being is a social animal!! So true, how much ever I keep shouting in my earlier posts that everyone is alone in their own life and that there are no 100% buddies....... I also think that our search for one will never end. This search is one of the few purposes of life. This search gives lot of hope and also disappointment. But no doubt this is most interesting thing in life.
(Disclaimer: I am keeping family out for the sake of this post.)
During my search, I have met so many people... soooo many of them. Some, I never felt like even thinking - tresspassers. Some, I thought over for a very little time - acquaintances. Some I till occasionally think about - friends. Some, I think about a lot - good friends. Some I really think about most of the times - best buddies. Some, I don't have to think.. because I am a reflection of their values, their thoughts & their advice - 3 bestest buddies.
It is fun categorizing people into these groups/tiers and it is even more fun observing how people keep switching between groups. It has happened so many times, people had almost reached the second last tier or even last tier... but fallen deep down to second tier. Second tier is very broad, it has anyone who I know and had a reason to remember.
Audacity haan!!!! But well that is fact. I think it is very importantt for every person to know how many people are there in their last tiers. And it is also very important to be in last tiers of atleast a few people. There is quite a possibility that the two things are independent of each other... i.e. you might not be in the last tier of people who are in your last tier.
With me, I have 3 buddies in the last tier. I don't need to mention their names, they would know its them when they read this post. I have already mentioned, I am not including family in this post. So apart from my family, these 3 people have made most difference in my life. They have been through thick and thin with me and most importantly have not changed their behaviour with me whether it was a thick or a thin or none of those :P. These are the people who will not neglect, just because they think I am moody. These are the people who will know, why I react the way I do. I know I can take them for granted... and I am neither sorry nor thankful. They are the people I would call up at midnight or even after that and talk about a problem as small as 'bedbugs in the house'. They are the people from whom, I cannot keep any secret, as trivial as, ' I have a crush on the dude who was sitting next to me in plane.' These are the people, who I do not meet for months but feel no need to catch up when I do the next time. These are the people, who know half of what I am going to talk about in a phone call just after listening to the tone of my 'Hello'!!! And this list can go on and on for ever. Bottomline, I am very very thankful to God, that I have them for me.
Inspite of all this, I stick to my opinion that they are not everything in my life. They are a big part of my life.. they know around 5 - 10% about me. But not all. I am still 'alone' but have met few other 'loners' on my way to share my experiences of the journey and get reliable maps for future.

'All' alone!!

2008-11-12T20:17:00.001-05:00

The other day I was listening to the song... 'Tum na jaane kis jahan mein kho gaye, hum bhari duniya mein tanha ho gaye..'. Well a nice song, but I do not agree with the lyrics. I think an individual is always alone/ tanhaa in this world in presence as well as absence of anyone. No ones presence can make life any less lonely and neither can anyones absence make it more lonely. How much ever close you are to anyone, you are far enough for your loneness to stay alive!!!

Is there anyone in this world who has someone to share atleast half of his/ her 'real' life? By this I mean are you atleast 50% of the times honest to that someone about your feelings, your desires, your opinions, your experiences... in short your life!!! If your answer to this question is no... you know what I mean!! If your answer to this question is yes.... please be honest atleast to yourself and double check..... and if the answer is still yes... you probably are one of the luckiest persons in this world!!! The reasons of not being honest can be numerous other than just fakeness... it can be care, it can be love, it can be fear, it can be insecurity, it can be hatred, it can be compassion... all sorts of reasons one can think of... but the outcome is same!!!

Why am I saying all this? This is my latest realization.... It was painful in the beginning to accept this but this is true... you accept it or you deny it, fact is fact!!! The realization brings lot of clarity to life and also indifference. Solves many questions..... creates many more!!!

अश्रू

2008-10-15T19:38:00.000-04:00

वेडेच असतात अश्रू
नाही? कधीही येतात
वेळ काळ नाहीच त्यांना
नको तेव्हा गळतात.

आपण लाख म्हणू
आता नाहीच येऊ देणार
पण ते येणारच... आणि
सगळे सगळे घेऊन जाणार.

नेतील च ते
तो क्षणाचा आनंद हिरावून
पण मणभर साठलेले दु:ख
आहे ना? तेही जाईल दुरावून.

पुढच्या वेळी आले ना.. की
मुळीच त्यांना आडवू नका
अवजड झालेले मन
बिनधास्त हलके करून टाका.

-Adi

My opinion about 'Love'

2008-10-06T17:15:00.000-04:00

I was listening to my favorite song 'Saiyyan'... sung by Kailash Kher..... but I badly wish to know who has written it!!! This song has something in it.... something i did not understand in the beginning, but got it after i had heard it more than 5 times. To most people, this song is a sad song where the writer is mourning over his/her lost love!! But to those who carefully listen to the words... this song is sure about lost love... but there is no mourning!! The poet has fantastically described the feeling of being in love and then losing it!! Makes me think...

True.. often one does not know how to react, after losing your love... some people react very well,some become indifferent, some others go into depression, some get frustrated with life and some become violent.

Like the poet/poetess, I believe love is a compound of feelings. It is a mixture of happiness, anxiety, care and many more feelings.... but sure not ownership!!! If you think you 'need' to own your love... I am sorry to say, but you are not in love. This, is that slight difference between love and infatuation.

Love is something that is meant for you and you alone... and if you really love someone, you will not feel the need for it to be reciprocated!! Does not mean that you won't be happy if there is reciprocation, but there is no 'need' of it!! If loving someone makes you happy, how can anyone take away this happiness??? This happiness belongs to you.... not even that 'someone' is capable of taking it away without your permission. After one point, even if that someone is gone from your life and you decide to move on.... you will always remember how happy 'being in love' made you, this memory will help you in your bad times. This memory will help you understand so many people around you. Like the poet says at the end of the song... you can keep decorating this feeling like you will decorate a temple, till eternity!!!

The Longest Journey Ever...

2008-07-26T13:24:00.000-04:00

Since I came in the States all my flight journeys have been very eventful. But this one is a winner with no doubt. It all started with my flight from Richmond. I was told at the airport that my flight was canceled and that I would be accommodated in the flight prior to it. So I was happy, I would reach early. But today’s journey wanted to teach me the actual feel of the phrase ‘jor kaa jhatka dhire se lage’. So the flight scheduled to take off 4.15pm took off at 5.30pm. A good 52 minute flight lands on JFK and guess what….. we are stuck in the flight for around 1 hour because of the ground traffic. Finally we reached the terminal gate and got off the flight. I entered JFK and ‘Oh Man’, there were around 400 people in front of me. This was probably my first time in US that I saw so many people at a time. Almost every flight on the display board was either canceled or delayed. I didn’t care. I just knew one thing…… I had to run. I had to run to find my flight. Those who have any idea of JFK…… I ran all the way from Gate 25 to Gate 4 almost a mile of distance with my cabin bag and personal bag. I reached here on time, I did it. But the Captain of the flight couldn’t make it!!!! Yess that is true, the Captain was on the flight to JFK from Atlanta, which got delayed and delayed for ever. So the all ready plane, all the rest of the crew and 130 passengers cannot fly to Mumbai because one man cannot make it to NY from Atlanta!!!!!!!!!! So the flight was delayed from 8.55pm to 10.30pm to 12.45 pm to 10.00am on 24th morning!!! I have done it again, I got myself stuck on JFK overnight……. I did not break my record!!! I am here at 2.59am in the morning writing a post for a blog. I think my flight will take off at 10am today…… I hope so… but still not sure!!! I pray to God this does not happen to even my enemy……. I don’t care of this uncomfortable night on the airport, but do you understand what that means??? It means 15 hours less in India… a delay of 15 hours for the moment I have been dreaming of for last several months!!!
This certainly is my longest journey ever!!

I am happy...

2008-07-14T16:19:00.000-04:00

For last several months there was this war going in my mind!!! Does happen periodically...
I like to ask questions and torture myself.
Who am I? What am I doing? Why am I doing, what I do? What should I do now? Where does my life want me to go? What is the purpose of my birth? Who decides it? If it is me who decides it, when will I get that realization? If not, is there any power that is superior than my mind (for me)? Probably not..... What is mind? Just chemical locha???? Just the thinking and memorization pathways I learnt in biochem last semester?? If it is true, what makes individual minds different from one another? Genetics?? 4 nucleotides?? They are 99% similar in all human beings.... so 1% of genome that is 30,000 base pairs/ nucleotides out of 3 million, make all that difference!!! Then this is what I should do, find out the differences in 1% genome. That is what I am doing, I am doing research in human genetics.
I have reached this conclusion and that is why I am happy!!!

Punyachi athvan yete kaa???

2008-06-14T19:13:00.000-04:00

Darveli Punyatla koni phone kiva chat var bhetla ki prashna astoch (aai - baba ani aaji sodun), 'Punyachi athvan yete kaa?' Kay uttar deu mi yaa prashnala...... nahi mala Punyachi athvan yet nahii...... karan ajunahi dole band kele tar mala Punach dista, ji goshta apan kadhi visruch shakat nahii tya goshtichi athvan vhaycha prashnach kuthe yeto?
Ithe alyapasun ek divasahi asa gelela nahi ki mala swapnat Pune dislela nahi. Parvati var maage basun kititari vela baghitlela suryasta; Sinhagadavarcha wind point; Sarasbagetla deul; Tulshibagetli gardi, shopping ani Shri Krishna chi misal; Laxmi road varcha zagmagat; Chopsticks madhlya asankhya partya; Vaidyachi misal; Bird-watching saathi firaycho tya tekdya; Pavsalyat mulshi laa kaadhlelya tripa; FC Road varche vegvegle hangouts; Durga madhye kaik vela esp ratri ushira pyayleli 'cold-coffee'; Adhi Scooty var ani nantar Wagon R madhun keleli Sinhagad vaari (Paythya paryant); Khadakwasla; Time pass hot nahii mhanun taasantaas Rutuja madhye maarlelya gappa; Ekatra jamlyavar kutha jaycha na tharlyani gharich karun khalleli maggi; Asankhya vela ani asaankhya thikani jhaalelya ice cream treats; Shala; Bhau college; Abancha college (Garware); University madhla dept.; NCL chya athvani; NIV cha training and anapekshit pane bhetlela and tiklela mitra mandal; NARI cha experience; Kothrud madhye mama ani mavshichi ghara ani sahaj mhanun marlelya kityek chakra; Kaka, Atya vagare group madhlya kityek gaanyachya maifili; Kiti saari attend keleli functions tyatli 'lagbag' :); Ganpati che divas; Ganpati mirawnuk ani tya divshi aaji kade darvarshi naa chukta keleli bhel; Punyacha paus; Punyacha traffic;...................... ashya kityek goshtinchi swapna mala padtat....
Ani yaa saglya pekshahi khoop khoop mahatvacha mhanje GHAR; jagat maajhi mhanavi ashi ekach tar jaaga ahe Punyat aslela, aai-baba, aji ani dada aslela, majha hakkacha, kadhihi maajhi vaat baghat aslela maajha ghar. Daravar bhala motha microbiology cha poster asleli maajhi baby pink room; te motha pasarlela table; kapatavar lavleli latest avadti kavita....... he na sampnaara ahe.....
Hey sagla tar varvarcha description ahe. Pan ek ashi goshta ahe ji mala ani asankhya Punekaranna Punyashi jodte - ek sanskruti, 'jajwalya' abhimaan, ani kharo kharach saangu tar mala ajibaat vyakta karta yet nahiye ashi ek bhavana.
Like my friend Sudhu says, 'Although people say heaven is on earth, nothing can beat home.'

Life mein kabhi kabhi...

2008-05-29T15:08:00.000-04:00

Sounds like a movie title!! Well, life is a movie.... a thriller, comdey, romantic, family drama, PLUS a reality show!! How interesting is that!! Imagine looking at your own life as you would watch a movie..... it is fun I do that sometimes. Let's see if we can do that again.... just sit quietly, visualise, a huge screen, events unlimited, but you have to choose one..... then... shhh listen, do you see yourself, see how you spoke or reacted - a question being asked, an answer being demanded or just plain statements, see how the others are reacting, then next frames - the different consequences of first frame and so on and on and on till you have no more time or you are tired of it (I never get tired of this game!!) .
Yeah in non-Aditi world they call this retrospection, I hate the name.. sounds very technical!!
This movie thing helps a lot, you eventually will start critiqing like you critique any commercial movies that you watch like - yeh story aisi hoti to jyada achcha hota, yaa yeh end thik nahi tha or yeh to kitna illogical tha yaa iss event ki jaroorat hi nahi thi, etc. And... this my dear friend is what you need in life - honest self-criticism. (of course that is if you think you are not perfect but you can be someday)
I have had tons of REALIZATIONS, since these movies started happening to me. Some made me happy, some made me sad but always proved to be LESSONS to learn!!
Tum bhi try karo aur dekho life mein kabhi kabhi.....

Dance.... my stress buster

2008-04-27T00:26:00.000-04:00

Dance, for last few years, has been my best friend!! I get immense pleasure in dancing..... I have no clue if the audience (if any) thinks the same. But I dance for my self. I have no formal training and I am extremely shy, when it comes to dancing alone in front of people except when I am dancing Cha Cha Cha. So you might be shocked to know that I dance everyday. Even my roomates will probably be shocked to know this. But I do and I am glad I do. Whatever my mood is, whatever my feelings are, whatever is on my mind, reflects in my dance on that particular day. I feel heavy if I do not dance regularly. I celebrate my happiness and my achievements. I release any negativity, any anger. I express my love, my care. And all this only through dance. It feels as if some abstract thing is slowly taking away any charge, positive as well as negative, on my mind and leaves behind neutrality. Neutrality is what we look for in our life right? Neutrality is what Krishna talks about when he mentions 'Sthitpradnya' in Bhagwat Geeta. I am not neutral by nature. Infact, I have most number of charges that anyone can I have. I am extremely delighted or extremely sad, there is no intermediate. So dance is a kind of meditation for me. And surprised was I, when I learnt that 'The Art of Living' basic course does have something called dance meditation in it. Cool isn't it? I learnt a way of meditation myself.
I am sure everyone has their own unique way of becoming neutral. The catch is in finding it, understanding it and using it!!

What a reason to cry...

2008-04-18T22:00:00.001-04:00

Have you ever had tears in your eyes just because you saw simply awesome performance? I had not just tears, it was followed by good lot of crying..... I was watching a dance performance by group of artists on marathi dance show 'Eka Peksha Ek'. The music, the lyrics, the choreography and the dance... simple yet effective. But why did it make me cry? Number of reasons.
Any good performance by any artist has always attracted me, but dancing and acting are My Love. There are hardly anythings in this world that make me more happy than after watching or doing a good enacted dance performance. I am not a publicity incharge of it, but Eka Peksha Ek has had some extraordinary performances and some extra ordinary artists, they had made me choke a number of times. So this was why I choked to begin with.
Then, the song has this typical marathi folk music and reminds me of Pune, reminds me of Ganapti 'mirawnuk', reminds me of those days filled with energy and passion. In the days of non-creativity, the nostalgia of your most creative days is very very sickening. This performance brought those fond memories and that made me cry.
One more important reason was the thought that it would be so good to watch this performance with the dear ones, back in Pune. It was then that I remembered I had this blog. So I am sharing this experience with all of you, broadening my range of 'dear ones'. I am sure you all will respond back. Waiting for the response. Never said that before but from my soul.... Jai Maharashtra. Love, Aditi.

Eight in my fate....

2008-04-11T17:33:00.000-04:00

Well guys decided to write this, I find it very cool. Thanks Arch for tagging me. So the rule is write eight 'somethings' in each category!!

Eight things I am passionate about:

Dance
Food
Acting
Driving
My Crushes :)
Breeding mice.... for those of you who do not know, I work on mice as models in my research
KLF4
Internet

Eight things I want to do before I die:

Find out if there is any interaction between KLF2 & KLF4 in vascular development
On stage 'dance' performance - did this watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQLmldoLPlo
Visit every country in the world
Try as many cuisines that I can
Parasailing
Bungy jumping
Sky diving
Buy house in New Zealand

Eight things I say often:

Aaila
Oops
Useless
Faltu
Balach
Smart
Cool
Kuch bhi

Eight books I have recently read:

Love signs
Angels and Demons
Maunanchi bhashantare
Alchemist
Da Vinci code
Wise and Otherwise
Cheaper by the Dozen
Anatomical development in mouse

Eight things that attract me to my best friends:

Honesty...... white lie permitted
Creatvity of any kind
Sense of Humour
Intelligence
Tolerance... u need it to be my best friend
Mischieves, Naughtiness
Craziness
Blonde Moments

Eight people I tag to continue this trend of 8 are:

Chaitu
Sayali
Sakshi
Gaudya
Kedar
Abhi
Kate
Jaan

So, these are 8 things in each category that are or will be in my fate!!

Wherever My Mind Takes Us

2008-04-06T00:05:00.000-04:00

My first blog... this blog is dedicated to my mind!! It needs this... it is going to be an opportunity for my mind to explore , utilize and strengthen itself let's hope it works!!